Two years ago, I finished my MBA, quit my job and left for a friend’s wedding in Ireland, via a month in Myanmar and a week in Sapa, Vietnam. Since then, I returned to Melbourne, found a job that allows me to travel, placed all my belongings into storage and headed off on an almost permanent journey. It has been a time of great enjoyment and freedom, but also, inevitably: loneliness, isolation and questioning. I think that my recent travels have changed me and, to an extent, changed the way that I look at life… so, I have been thinking: what are some of the things that have I learned from travelling for the last two years?
Delayed when my battery ran flat in NZ and I had noone to jump start me, I ended up meeting and having dinner with a lovely couple who stopped to help!
People are fundamentally kind and friendly
No matter which country or continent, I have met amazing people on my journeys. Whether they be housemates that kicked back in Kauai with a movie and takeaway after I had a car accident, Laotian uber drivers who downloaded translate apps so we could speak to each other, Vietnamese stall holders who fed me with local food, Kiwis that told me the best place to get free camping, or Botswanans who insisted on taking a photo of me so I could send it home to my family – people of all ages and races are more than happy to help, particularly when they see me on my own and struggling or lost.A woman travelling on her own in her 30s is interesting all over the world
In Australia as in the rest of the world, I am regularly asked where my husband and children are. For the most part, there is no pity or condescension in it, but rather a general interest – that sometimes ends up in a look of disbelief (Vietnam & Laos), or a free beer and a cheers (Ireland). I must admit, a strategic ‘wedding’ ring and a story of a busy businessman husband can sometimes be worth the lie…Being patient, polite and positive does not cost a thing
To travel is to be delayed. All over the world, people react differently to unforeseen circumstances, but there are inevitably people that become rude and hostile and downright angry – usually at the messenger. Smiling, sharing a joke or some food and accepting unforeseen circumstances with patience and positivity is, without doubt, the best way to cope, and also the best way to keep a lowered heart rate.I have made numerous friends on the road from delays, as well as caught up on my reading pile and eaten delicious homemade food. Some things are out of our control, it is best not to worry about them.Listen to your intuition
Women, in particular, will know that feeling: something that just seems wrong, out of place, unsettling or makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Whether it is someone that you think is following you, a room or hostel that does not feel right or something that just does not add up. Listen to it. We might feel rude saying no, returning home or avoiding eye contact, but better to be safe than sorry and intuition is the greatest guide.
A group tour through the jungle in Laos was exactly what I needed after being alone for six weeks in Vietnam
5. Loneliness will strike
When I first started travelling on my own in 2007, I struggled with loneliness quite a bit. In recent years, it has waxed and waned: while driving around Ireland in a Campervan I desperately craved company, and while sick in South Africa I honestly never felt so alone. But then when I am surrounded by people, often I just want to be by myself.I feel less lonely now that I work while I travel and am in constant contact with my colleagues, but I do often go days without speaking to another human. As I have matured, I have learnt what to do when I feel isolated: call friends, go on a small group tour, meet locals via meetup.com or jump on tinder to find a tour guide. I have learnt to ride out the days where I feel melancholy because I am on my own, often treating myself to a nice dinner, glass of wine or manicure. Acknowledging loneliness does not mean acknowledging weakness.
6. Holiday romances are exciting and heartbreaking whether you’re 13 or 33
Fact.Oh boys…
Sunset at Canyonlands in Utah, US
7. We are basically all the same
Somewhere along the way to adulthood, we are taught that, because we look different, we are different. That is just not true. We are all so much more similar than our governments and press will have us believe. People are curious and kind. We are all looking for happiness. We are interested in something new. We love. We laugh.Whenever I have been concerned about finding similarities, or intimidated by being a minority amongst foreigners, I show a photo of my family and ask people about theirs. It is the easiest way to make someone smile and connect on our similarities rather than argue about our differences.
8. We only get one life
This is it. This is all we get. Spend it the way that you want and do the things that you dreamed of doing when you were young. There is no do-over, and you deserve it.